Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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