i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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