I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
