i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
