Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
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the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
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So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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