I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
