I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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