Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just pee around me
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
