Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
