i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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