I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Randomize