elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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