they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
