Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
