and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
