She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
