I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
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