Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
