is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
