Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
