I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
The air taste purple.
Randomize
