member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
