Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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