How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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