well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
