So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
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