You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
dude. I can hear the air.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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