Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
