can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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