i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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