I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
as a side note pls kill me
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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