just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
