super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
