There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
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I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
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Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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