I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
