I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
