you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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