The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
