Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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