Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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