a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
