what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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