So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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