She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
