Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
