Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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