I faked an abortion last night.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize