i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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