I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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