wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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