Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
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They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
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Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
The Olympian is in my bed
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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