Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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