She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
