the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
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I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
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Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
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