Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
