i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize
