honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
