So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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