she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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