Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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