I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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