how can u be prego again
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.