Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
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Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
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Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
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Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.