Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory