I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.