Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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